In the stills of I Wow Toe, My Country, we see cornfields, flags, tankers, Churchills, more flags and nurses – basically whatever ‘patriotic’ labeled footage Team Mordaunt could get their hands on. “In this contest, there will be an emphasis on politics,” says an unnamed narrator, but we must also “focus on who we are”—which, coincidentally, is much cheaper than health care or schools. The only thing missing from this charming tour of Albion – a bit of Stonehenge there – is Penny Mordaunt herself, who only appears for a few seconds at the end. Even then, it’s just a picture of a disembodied voice that sounds suspiciously like it was recorded in a Westminster toilet. My theory: this was originally an advert for the National Trust. Hastily, Penny translated it, cut off the end and made it her own.
