It is called the “husband stitch” because its main purpose is usually seen as a benefit to that sexual partner.
The “husband stitch” isn’t a procedure with an approved medical name, and some people don’t know they’ve had it until it’s already happened — or even that there’s a slang name for it.
One of those people is TikTok user Hannah (@hannahhhleigh_). The 23-year-old recently discovered – after years of pain and a sudden realization – that she once had husband stitches.
In the video, Hannah recounts seeing another woman’s TikTok video explaining what the husband stitch is and “it all made sense” when she considered her own postpartum experience. Hannah explains, “I gave birth to my son … in 2019 on a military base in the hospital. I had a second-degree tear with my son – it’s common. Anyway, you have to be stitched up after you tear, right. Well, they stitched me up, didn’t I? they told me nothing.” [had sex]it was extremely uncomfortable, and sometimes even painful.”
When she mentioned this to her OB-GYN, she was told that it was normal and that “her hormones are off” and that she should just use “extra lubrication.” Hannah says, “Me being a first-time mom…I just took the offer and said, ‘OK, it must be normal.’ I suffered with the pain and discomfort for two years.” After her move, she saw a new OB-GYN preparing for the birth of her second child During Hannah’s Pap test, the new OB-GYN examined Hannah before asking her if she had “problems” with anything that had been inserted. @hannahhhleigh_ / Via tiktok.com
Hannah then explained her problems over the past two years. Hannah says in the video, “She [the OB-GYN] it was like, “I know why you’re having these problems. It’s as clear as day: They sewed you up wrong.’” Hannah says her new OB-GYN explained to her that the opening in her vagina was much smaller than it should have been and that there was a lot of scar tissue. While Hannah clarifies that the OB- GYN did not specifically tell her that she had husband stitches, she expresses confusion as to how her issue had not been caught before.
Hannah explains that after seeing the TikTok video and recognizing herself in that experience, it became clear to her that she had been given husband stitches. Hannah adds that after she had her second child and tore again, her new Gynecologist was able to remove the excess scar tissue and sew her up properly. Hannah adds that she hasn’t had any problems since. After watching the initial video that made her realize she’s had husband stitches in the past, Hannah says:[When I] I found out that what happened to me has a name and I saw all the horror stories happen, just like it happened to me, unbeknownst to me [and] without [my] consent…like, that’s scary.’ @hannahhhleigh_ / Via tiktok.com
Hannah’s original video has 2.4 million views, 103,600 likes and a comments section full of people sharing their own thoughts and feelings about the husband.
I spoke to Hannah, who added that in addition to the discomfort and pain during sex, she had problems with daily activities such as inserting a tampon and even sitting down. She said, “It took me a long time to heal after giving birth…I know this can be normal right after birth, but this continued for quite some time after the fact.”
Hannah said that after being told by her previous doctor that her pain and discomfort were normal, she was actually comforted when the second OB-GYN explained that something was wrong. Hannah said: “I was extremely relieved to finally be given an answer and a solution to the problem.”
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Hannah described watching the TikTok video she came across about her husband’s stitch over and over and explained: “Honestly, I was in complete shock. Neither my husband nor I knew this was even a thing, let alone that it was common OR had a name. . I must have watched the video about 10 times, comparing what he was saying to my previous situation, in complete disbelief.”
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For more information, I spoke with Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, clinical professor in the department of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive sciences at Yale School of Medicine. Minkin said that while the term “partner” is slang, it’s not necessarily a new term — she had heard the term as a resident in the late 70s.
Dr. Mary Jane Minkin
Minkin said that in her experience, the phrase referred to a single extra stitch at the top of a vagina, given to a patient after an episiotomy — a surgical incision made into the opening of the vagina to aid in childbirth — to tighten the vagina. She said, “It was referred to as the husband stitch because it was thought that after a few kids, the husband wouldn’t enjoy sex as much. So they would make it a little tighter for his benefit.”
After a patient’s episiotomy or even after a normal tear at birth, Minkin emphasized, the goal is to return the patient’s vagina to as close to the anatomy it had before the tear as possible. He said the goal was to “put the vagina together and support it well. You want to make it tight enough that the patient is comfortable, but not too tight.” Fatcamera/Getty Images
Since the vagina naturally stretches during childbirth, Minkin said she’s had patients specifically ask to be stitched up tighter, usually after they’ve had a few children. However, he added that in the case of conjugal stitches, “the primary benefit is for the partner.” Minkin said it’s important to let your doctor know if you’re experiencing pain or discomfort.
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Hannah said she took some time to think about whether she should share her experience on TikTok, but ultimately decided: “If I had the opportunity to spread awareness about the issue, I should take it, even if it means that I’m vulnerable.” She also added that she was surprised by the number of views and comments the video received and said: “I had such a small platform at the time that it was definitely not expected.”
One of the most common questions Hannah said she gets from commenters is if she ever confronted the doctor who said she stitched up her husband in the first place, but Hannah said she never thought about it. She explained, “That happened in Alaska almost three years ago now. We’ve moved on with our lives. I’m glad it’s fixed and I’m not suffering with it anymore.” Jazzirt/Getty Images/iStockphoto
